i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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