Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
