So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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