OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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