last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
