Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
