The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
