The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
So much Jack, so little girl.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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