you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Can I color on your dick again?
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
