As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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