Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
