I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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