I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
