Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
