There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Randomize
