Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
