As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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