My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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