Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
