Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
She announced her abortion via fbk
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
