Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize