I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
My vagina is officially offended.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
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