Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Randomize
