i would punch a child for taco bell
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
