I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
there is puke in my bra ... again
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