Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
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