I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize