Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
