Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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