i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
