i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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