do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
