May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I am one with the molecules
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
