To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
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