i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
