He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize