we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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