I didn't shave. On purpose
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
