I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
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