I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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