Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
