What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize