White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
He felt like a one man threesome
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
