Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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