**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
