I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
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