I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
