I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
