about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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