the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
