i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
