I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
