I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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