Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
