i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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