We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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