then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
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