Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
No subtext here. People are naked.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
