Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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