I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
