I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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