Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
